The Sheet

There's a way to fold a fitted sheet. You tuck the corners into one another, and it comes out flat, a neat rectangle, like in the store. Mine comes out as a loaf.

I've done the corners-first method. I've done it in half first. I watched a man do it on his knees on a bed, and I tried that, and I ended up on my knees on a bed, holding a loaf. Once I spent twenty minutes on one and put it on the shelf round, to let it settle.

My mother-in-law, Pat, stays with us every other month. On her second visit she opened the linen closet for a towel and found my loaf. She said nothing. She took it out, folded it in about four seconds, and slid it back. Then she took the towel.

Now every sheet in the house is flat. I haven't asked. We haven't discussed it.

I wash all the sheets the week before she comes and put them in the closet in a pile.

I don't want her to arrive and find nothing to do.